Bossy?
Pastor Jim Kilby • January 25, 2023
A friend and I were chatting about Spiritual gifts the other day when he told me he believed his number one Spiritual gift was "leadership!" Knowing him pretty well, I gently urged him toward another selection, but he wouldn't be swayed. "I'm gifted in lots of things Jim, but my main gift is leadership!" Now, my friend is a good man, but he has a tendency to get under people's skin because he can be quite bossy. What's more, it appears he enjoys being the boss a little too much, which can make people resent him. As I was thinking about our conversation later, I came upon a realization I hadn't had before. My friend has confused being bossy with being a leader. What's worse, the two are almost complete opposites from a Scriptural perspective. Still, in today's society, being the "boss" is a status symbol--something to be pursued. Being "in charge" granted a person similar stature in Biblical times, and Jesus had much to say about it. Even more than what He said however, was how He demonstrated it... Leadership is accomplished by setting aside the "royal robes" and serving those around you in love... AND with reckless abandon! Most definitely not by being the most "bossy" person in the building! When, and if, we ever accomplish this "crucifying of self" as Christians (and as leaders), then, and only then, will we be worthy of being elevated in the eyes of those we lead.
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:5-11
"If you want to be truly great, the direction you must go is down!" Pastor Bill Hybels, Senior Pastor, Willow Creek Community Church
Pastor Jim Kilby
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Have you ever heard the phrase, "Well you got your job and I got mine?" If not, maybe you've heard the shorter version of, "That's not MY job!" At any rate, you've surely seen the sentiment behind the phrases, which essentially pushes off responsibility that might otherwise wind up in someone's lap who doesn't want it. I guess there are probably times when we do need to hold people accountable for holding up their end of jobs and responsibilities, but get troubled when Christians think that the job of the pastor or people in other paid church positions are the only one's who need to worry about the Church. The work of the Lord is the business of every believer, and in fact we are all called "saints" and even "priests" if we are part of the Body of Christ--His Church. And even if you're a teen who's busy with school, work, and a thousand other things, you can still pray for your church and those who labor there. You just might find out how important prayer really is when you see them being answered by a faithful God. "I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me." Romans 15:30 Pastor Jim Kilby Your donation spreads good news! www.harvestyouth.org/donate
The first Christian ever killed for his faith was a young man named Stephen. Believe it or not, he was dealing with the same thing God had been dealing with people about since the Garden of Eden. They just did not want to listen to God. And it's worth noting that these were not just your "run of the mill" folks either. These were the religious people, God's chosen people, which by the way will be the same people who often give pastors and elders a fit today. So what got Stephen killed? He told them the way it was and they didn't like it! We don't kill prophets for speaking God's will today, but we still like to ignore them if they say anything we don't like. "You stiff-necked people... You always resist the Holy Spirit!" Acts 7:51 Pastor Jim Kilby Your donation spreads good news! www.harvestyouth.org/donate
"Do this! Do that!" Have you heard the way some young men speak to and about girls these days? It's appalling to me, not only as a minister of the Lord, but also as a father of three girls. Who decided that anyone could act so badly toward someone else and get away with it? Who decided that it was okay to badmouth other human beings and be applauded for it? And young ladies don't get away easily either. Working with troubled teens has given me an education about the foulness of some "ladies" mouths beyond what most could imagine. People have little respect for one another in this day and age and even less respect for the Creator who made those priceless human beings we're bad-mouthing, or for ourselves for that matter. But the words are not really the problem. What comes out of a person's mouth quite simply is a reflection of what is in that person's heart. If Jesus is in your heart, then your words ought to testify to it. Who cares what everyone else does, says or is? We are the Lord's property and we'll act like it. If you can't seem to get a grip on your mouth, you might consider giving your heart to the Only Son of God--He's your only hope! "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45 Pastor Jim Kilby Your donation spreads good news! www.harvestyouth.org/donate
Are your friends keeping you from obeying God's laws? If so, you already know what you need to do. The only question is why won't you do it? I get a large amount of mail from teens who lament this issue. They want to be liked, and they want to keep their friends, but they find it hard to keep their walk with God pure because of some of their relationships. Please know that not doing the hard thing is almost always the wrong thing. Reach out to unsaved people whenever you can, but don't ever sacrifice your relationship with God for anybody. Doing so elevates yourself and your earthly relationships above God Himself. Committing such an act is the sin of idolatry, plain and simple. "I hate double-minded men, but I love your law. You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Away from me, you evildoers, that I may keep the commands of my God!" Psalm 119:113-115 Pastor Jim Kilby Your donation spreads good news! www.harvestyouth.org/donate
Far too many Christians live life without much of a plan of attack. Can you imagine what would happen if even a great country rushed into a war without a plan? Disaster would certainly be the result. Making it through even one day without being caught up in some type of sin is difficult enough, but doing so without watching and keeping alert is impossible. If you've found yourself struggling more than normal, maybe it's because you're not starting your day with the realization Satan wants to make you trip and fall at every opportunity. Such a realization will help you remember to study, to pray, and to keep other Christians as close as possible. Only a strong walk with Jesus and a firm grasp of His Word can make your path safe. "Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery [doing bad stuff]. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." Ephesians 5:15-18 Pastor Jim Kilby Your donation spreads good news! www.harvestyouth.org/donate
If you knew I was an expert on something and you were my close friend, would you go to a total stranger and ask them instead of asking me? If you did, not only would you be hurting our relationship, but you'd also be getting poor instruction. We live in a world where God is evident in everything good that we see if we only look intently, yet many look elsewhere for guidance about the very world and people He created. Christians who do this hurt their relationship with a God who loves them, and are led astray by what the Bible calls "blind guides." Seeking information from horoscopes, spiritists and other mediums is evil in God's eyes which makes it bad enough. What makes it worse is that in the end, those who seek this type of advice and counsel begin to blame God and government for all the problems in the world. What's more, they become blind to the very light they once knew. "When men tell you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their god? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? To the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn. Distressed and hungry, they will roam through the land; when they are famished, they will become enraged and, looking upward, will curse their king [government] and their God. Then they will look toward the earth and see only distress and darkness and fearful gloom, and they will be thrust into utter darkness." Isaiah 8:19-22 Pastor Jim Kilby Your donation spreads good news! www.harvestyouth.org/donate
Are you being pressured to become sexually active? Many young people write me about these types of issues, and down to a one the person who's always concerned about it is the female. Men, once they have the opportunity to become sexually active, can typically only think about one thing--the next time they can have sex! God's plan is a simple one. Do not have sexual relations outside of the covenant of marriage. Females are often gifted with giving personalities, and men are quite often quite willing to provide the "but I love you" pressure or the "we'll be married one day" pressure to help convince the fairer sex to give in. Applying the pressure is sin, falling for the pressure is sin, and ANY sexual impurity is sin. I can't put it much plainer. But, if you've gone down this road, God's plan is equally simple and He is always forgiving if we do things HIS way. First, STOP today, agree with God that you've sinned and confess it to Him, THEN, remain pure until you are married. And... since we're on the topic, any man who says he loves you but is unwilling to sacrifice for you (and for God) is a liar. His love is only for himself. "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry." Colossians 3:5 Pastor Jim Kilby Your donation spreads good news! www.harvestyouth.org/donate
Recently, I spent some time chatting with a young woman who was regretting getting herself into a sexual situation with a young man. Although she felt bad about allowing him to do something she really didn't want to do, she confessed, "I just didn't know how to say 'no' to him." I sadly told her that situations like this were bound to happen again and again if she didn't learn to stand her ground. Not being able to say "no" could honestly have been a death sentence before she knew it because of the things she'd wind up saying "yes" to. Then I was reminded of a quote from a leadership conference I once attended that tried to help executives prioritize things better. The quote from author and leadership guru, Stephen Covey, goes like this: The way to say "no" to something is to have a bigger "yes" burning inside of you. The "yes" my young friend needed was a simple one: "Yes, Jesus!" "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him" Phillippians 3:7b-9a Pastor Jim Kilby Your donation spreads good news! www.harvestyouth.org/donate
I've often told ministers who were down because they were forced to work extra jobs that it was fine to do that as necessary, "Hey, even Paul had a job making tents," I would say. There's even a name that's passed around Christian circles for a pastor's other work. The second job is called a "tent making job." Although I was correct about it being OK for the pastor or minister to have another job, I recently revisited the Scripture about Paul's tent making and noticed that I had missed something. Paul only made tents until there was sufficient help to relieve him of those duties. After that, he was able to devote himself more fully to what the Lord had called him to do. Not everyone is called to preach and to teach, but everyone is called to help forward the cause of the gospel of Christ. One is not necessarily more important than the other. In fact, for the majority of us preaching sermons will not be our calling. Instead, our calling is often to support our local church financially so that those called to serve there can devote themselves to their work. "Paul went to see them [fellow believers Aquila & Prescilla], and because he was a tentmaker as they were, he stayed and worked with them. Every Sabbath he reasoned in the synagogue, trying to persuade Jews and Greeks. When Silas and Timothy came from Macedonia, Paul devoted himself exclusively to preaching, testifying to the Jews that Jesus was the Christ." Acts 18:2b-5 Pastor Jim Kilby Your donation spreads good news! www.harvestyouth.org/donate
